Fear? What fear?

 could stand for fear if we let it.

Yesterday was my day to write something about the letter F. Initially the word that came to mind was the word FEAR. Ready to put pen to paper, I came across a quote from Marvin Gaye that caught my attention.  Marvin said that sin and fear go hand in hand.  Makes sense to me and after all who else would know this better than Marvin Gaye.

“Most fear stems from sin: to limit one’s sins assuredly limits one’s fear thereby bringing more peace to one’s spirit.” – Marvin Gaye, 1939 – 1984

As I started to write I got stuck. The words just wouldn’t flow. No matter how many stops and starts I had, the words were just not there. So I did what most writers do. I stopped altogether. Let it rest and moved on to something else.  After a good night’s sleep and some prayer I decided that what I really needed to do was to examine myself and my own fears.

As we age we all have those times when we fear that ache or pain may be something other than just that – an ache or pain. Our minds play tricks on us and tries to make us believe that it’s a tumor, a cancer, a catastrophic illness. I propose that this is a healthy fear because it can motivate you into action.  It can motivate you into making that lifestyle change you’ve been intending. Perhaps it is time to really start looking at your eating habits or your exercise regimen.  Healthy fear, not life stopping fear.

And while we are contemplating this time of life in this fear state, we may perhaps have a fear that one day we may end up being a burden to our loved ones. What is going to happen if for some reason we cannot care for ourselves.  What if we ultimately die? Who is going to take care our final wishes and expenses? Hmmm….  Again this should motivate one to plan and get into place these needs. Healthy fear not life stopping fear.

Examining my life I am asking myself what is that one thing that I fear most?  Do I even have fear?  Sorry, but not all of us are super saved. Fear lurks around in all of us. I just don’t give it room is grow in my life so that it will remain that healthy fear and not that life stopping fear.

The questions I am asking today are, as I reach this age, what are my expectations? How much am I relying on the kindness of strangers to come to my rescue. How much do I really trust God as a round this corner to the middle of my personal third chapter of life?

I have said it over and over again…stop looking for the magic.  Every one will eventually have to come to grips with the absolute truth that faith does move mountains and the Holy Ghost is real. The bible says that faith without works is dead. We all must come to final terms with the sin in our lives. That thing you have been lugging around year after year saying and lying to yourself that you are going to stop doing. Consider this, sins are also our bad habits, our procrastination, our anxieties, our anger and yes, even our way of handling disappointments. What work do we need to do to align ourselves up to the will of God?  How obedient are we to God really?

All of these things are sin. Sin is defined as a turning away from God and the focusing on self: making your own rules, going your own way, having your own thoughts, satisfying your own pleasures. Sin is having way too much ‘I’ in your eye.  Defining sin very loosely:  getting stuck on YOU opens the door to FEAR and fear is indeed the opposite of faith. Amen? Amen.

#soulwriter #whatithoughtwassojustaint  #gracefulaging #livingwithpride

Books by Debi Mason:

What I Thought Was So Just Ain't - Aging through God's Grace

Amazon.com (paperback)

Amazon.com (Kindle edition)

Barnes & Noble (paperback)

Barnes & Noble (NOOK edition)

ISBN-13: 978-0692236475

Release: June, 2014

Arizona Clay: A journey of self-discovery

Amazon.com (paperback)

Barnes & Noble (paperback)

ISBN-13: 9781606964880

Release: June, 2009

Follow me on Twitter:  @DebiOak

Cooperative Economics/Ujamaa

Habari gani?  UJAMAA! (Cooperative economics)

Cooperative Economics/Ujamaa: Sharing and pooling our financial resources and goods and services for the common benefit of family and community participants with the goal of building and sustaining cooperative economic enterprises.

This practice Ujamaa grows from a shared understanding that we as humans on this planet are dependent on each other and that loving, sharing, and caring are cardinal virtues.

I am honestly doing some sincere self-assessment here.  On this, the fourth day of Kwanzaa,  I have to ask myself how much am I really supporting black business, enterprise, community efforts for the betterment of our cities, towns, communities, neighborhoods and, yes, our race?

As I look around in parts of the City of Oakland, of all the closed storefronts in black neighborhoods, how many of those were former black businesses?  As an artist and a former arts manager, I am wondering how many of those black arts endeavors have gone by the wayside due to lack of support and how many are going to make it beyond 2015?  Personally I cried when the Oakland Ensemble folded after umpteen years of teaching me to live the life of black art with pride and resilience in spite of dwindling funds from the public and private sector.  Arts organizations that taught me how to produce the art on a dime seemingly no longer exist.

How often have I said out loud or in a whisper that this item would be cheaper at the big box store?  Or, perhaps, I  just gave my good money to the foreign looking and talking man on the corner because he is in my neighborhood.  Did it ever occur to me the reason he is in my neighborhood with his stale bread and cheap liquor?  We as a people can be an easy prey.

We spend hundreds on hair from a foreign land, bought in a store owned and operated by someone that speaks little or no English. We put his kids through college and pay the mortgage on his house that displaced us through that magical word called gentrification.  And, yep, my man is driving a better car and is more technically advanced and advantaged.

This year I am going to at least make the effort to buy black and support black.  I will support black endeavors not only with lip service but with my dollars as well.  The amount of money we are all guilty of wasting throughout the year could indeed go a long way toward the sustainability of that group of black poets, those black theatre companies, black dance studios, black community organizers, black bookstores, black restaurants, black barbershops and beauty salons, black dress makers, and black cake makers.  I will not be afraid to buy a membership or give a donation to a black cause that I care deeply about keeping in mind that no amount is too small.

Books by Debi Mason:

What I Thought Was So Just Ain't - Aging through God's Grace

Amazon.com (paperback)

Amazon.com (Kindle edition)

Barnes & Noble (paperback)

Barnes & Noble (NOOK edition)

ISBN-13: 978-0692236475

Release: June, 2014

Arizona Clay: A journey of self-discovery

Amazon.com (paperback)

Barnes & Noble (paperback)

ISBN-13: 9781606964880

Release: June, 2009

Follow me on Twitter:  @DebiOak

Granny's Porch, 2016 : preserving the art of story

Our fundraising campaign starts today! Follow this link: 

 https://www.gofundme.com/d9anh2bg  

Opening in Oakland, California, February, 2016: Stories From Granny's Porch. This is a creative project of Oby House Productions featuring the artistry of Debi Mason. First presented on the Lyceum stage as part of the 14th Annual Kuumba Fest of the African American Council of the San Diego Repertory Theatre in 2006 Stories From Granny's Porch shares a view into the lives of those most affected by gentrification in America's cities. Told through the eyes of Granny Arilea Bell, these stories of Montezuma Streets most colorful characters come to life. Pre-production audiences have laughed out loud, shed a tear over the reality of homelessness, addiction and abuse and danced in the aisles to the jazz/blues and gospel rifts of a live combo of musicians. Want to support this project and have your name listed as a true patron of the arts? Search Go Fund Me for Granny's Porch and contribute today! We thank you and appreciate you greatly.

#oakager   #soulwriter 

Books by Debi Mason:

What I Thought Was So Just Ain't - Aging through God's Grace

Amazon.com (paperback)

Amazon.com (Kindle edition)

Barnes & Noble (paperback)

Barnes & Noble (NOOK edition)

ISBN-13: 978-0692236475

Release: June, 2014

Arizona Clay: A journey of self-discovery

Amazon.com (paperback)

Barnes & Noble (paperback)

ISBN-13: 9781606964880

Release: June, 2009

Follow me on Twitter:  @DebiOak

Grey Areas...

Sometimes my mind wonders and drifts and, to be honest, I believe I have reached that age when I can afford to let it. Swiftly my thoughts soar, sometimes without real direction, moving from the beauty and wonder of trees and oceans, to bible and love thy neighbor and wondering why it gotta be that way. 

Throughout life's journey, or much of it anyway, we are told what to think and how to think and why to think. It is through these orchestrated thoughts that we are told that success and prosperity are to be found. Today, however, as I let my mind wonder, it has occured to me that this kind of thinking is what can stiffle the creativity of somebody like me. This feeling today begs the question, is this the means by which I move closer to becoming somebody else instead of my authentic self?

And what about that word criticism either by self or someone else.  You know, criticism is that deadly silver bullet that can kill a desire, a purpose, a creative spirit quicker than anything else in life. 

Oh, as I remind myself, I am of the age that has given me the freedom to be me.  I am free to wonder in my mind down undiscovered highways and byways just because. I am free to climb great hills and mountains, bathe under glowing waterfalls, tell stories to somebody that just needs to have thier existance acknowledged. I am free to travel full of the power and the love of the Lord without fear, doubt or hesitation. Marvelous!

Lately I can picture the hand of God beneath me as I soar higher and higher. I am so utterly confident that He will catch me if I stumble and I am not afraid to fail because He has my back. There is absolutely no reason for any of us to not try to do that thing that He has purposed for each of us. His unchanging and powerful hand is indeed beneath us.

It is marvelous to be a grown up and to feel God chip away at the last remnant of fear we may have. I am flying and I am content. It is ok to be you. It is ok for they to be they and them to be them. It is ok for me to be me.

"And they shall fight against you, but they shall not prevail against you, for I am with you, says the Lord, to deliver you."  Jeremiah 1:19

(c) 2015, USA

#oakager   #soulwriter 

Books by Debi Mason:

What I Thought Was So Just Ain't - Aging through God's Grace

Amazon.com (paperback)

Amazon.com (Kindle edition)

Barnes & Noble (paperback)

Barnes & Noble (NOOK edition)

ISBN-13: 978-0692236475

Release: June, 2014

Arizona Clay: A journey of self-discovery

Amazon.com (paperback)

Barnes & Noble (paperback)

ISBN-13: 9781606964880

Release: June, 2009

Follow me on Twitter:  @DebiOak

Happy is the man ...

is for happy...

Sometimes we just have to remind ourselves

Happy is the man whose soul is anchored in the Lord.

Happy is the man that knows peace.

Happy is the man that says, “I trust in the Lord and lean not to my own understanding”.

Happy is that man that dances a dance of freedom in the midst of a storm.

Happy is the man that can say, “I have more than enough”.

Happy is he that is not swayed by popular opinion.

Happy is he who is foundation sure.

Happy is the man that knows what the saying, “we shall not be moved”, really means.

Happy is he who knows the voice of the Shepard.

Happy is he that knows that they are chosen and set apart.

Happy is the man that understands that we are in this world but not of it.

Happy is he that knows silence and is content.

Happy is he that enjoys his own company and sees that there is indeed a difference between “alone-ness” and loneliness.

Happy is the man that takes a cue from Enoch and makes walking and talking with Lord in the cool of the day a habit.

Happy is he that knows the wonderous working power of the Holy Ghost.

Happy is he who prays like a life depends on it because it does.

         

Happy is he who prays like a life depends on it because it does.

This is happy. This is joy unspeakable.

(c) 2015, USA

#oakager   #soulwriter 

Books by Debi Mason:

What I Thought Was So Just Ain't - Aging through God's Grace

Amazon.com (paperback)

Amazon.com (Kindle edition)

Barnes & Noble (paperback)

Barnes & Noble (NOOK edition)

ISBN-13: 978-0692236475

Release: June, 2014

Arizona Clay: A journey of self-discovery

Amazon.com (paperback)

Barnes & Noble (paperback)

ISBN-13: 9781606964880

Release: June, 2009

Follow me on Twitter:  @DebiOak

Dad

Dad never wanted his picture taken. I am not sure I really understand why.  I don’t own a photograph of my father even though he lived in our household for all of the years of our growing and becoming.

Strange.

Perhaps my father preferred to live in the shadows; incognito. He knew the reason.  All I know is that it translated in my mind when I was a kid that he was  ashamed of us or perhaps he didn’t like us very much.  I don’t know.

Strange.

This is the only visual memory I own. All I have is this caricature drawn by my brother around the time of my father’s demise.  Funny but I have carried this around in one of my bibles for years. As a matter of fact it is in the bible that I use for church every Sunday. It doesn’t matter if the preacher calls for a scripture from the New Testament or the Old, flipping through the pages of this well-worn book, I see this face.

Strange.

But I love this cartoon face of my father. It occurred to me recently that this is a profound statement being made on a once a week bases. This picture is reminding me that I never really knew the true man.  I didn’t know where he came from nor who his people were or are. I didn’t know much about his likes and dislikes, either. I mean I never had a full-fledged conversation with the man. It’s human nature to  think the worst when we are left alone to compose the story out of a few negative  scenes in time. But let me be fair. Sometimes I look at this picture and see a kind old man that was a dying breed.   He was an honest to goodness tailor. That’s something special, isn’t it?

Strange.

So I have this caricature in my bible as though I am holding him captive. I somehow don’t want to forget this bit of my root. There are so many questions that I wish to have answered. This must be what an adopted child feels as they grow with a desire to know their true birthparents.  A made up story about my father just won’t do at this late date of my life. I long to know the real truth with each passing Sunday and the flip of the page of this well-worn bible.

Strange.

Perhaps if I knew the who, what, when, where, how of his story my own who, what, when, where or how would be revealed. Maybe the gaps in my own story would be filled in. Those grey areas full of questions would fade. Maybe.  Maybe not.  Maybe the need to know his story is not the real issue. I mean my life really wouldn’t change drastically if I knew. Would it?

Strange.

It has come to my mind that I still have some forgiveness issues to work through regarding my father, something that I thought I had done many moons ago. I thought that nailing the sin and mess of my past to the cross was truly enough. I thought that all of that work I did with my psychologist back in the day was sufficient.

Strange.

I then had a “ah-ha” moment. I was not holding on to my father’s memory by carrying this cartoon face around in my bible. My father was holding me hostage with every Sunday flip of the page. I might as well have been going around with a huge question mark hovering above my head.  I was refusing to let go of those painful unanswered questions and the longer I am holding on to that space the more I am refusing to let Jesus come in and fill in the blanks.  So I ask myself, do inquiring minds really need to know everything?  No, they don’t.

Strange.

I am pretty positive that someone reading this is saying that this is elementary. Un-huh. But here’s the deal. The difference between me and you, dear saint, is that I am willing to be transparent in hopes that I can help somebody and so that me, myself and I can be healed. So many of our relationship issues with each other, our co-workers or our family members stem from forgiveness issues.  As we spend time in prayer, fasting and honest self-examination, let us remember that forgiveness is the gate by which we must walk through to get to the glory of salvation. We are so good at lying to ourselves about our issues but we cannot lie to the One that sees all and knows all.  It is time to release that heavy burden of unforgiveness and truly get on with it. The bible says:

“Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Till seven times?   Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, until seven times: but, until seventy times seven.”  Matthew 18:21-22 KJV

#oakager   #soulwriter 

Books by Debi Mason:

What I Thought Was So Just Ain't - Aging through God's Grace

Amazon.com (paperback)

Amazon.com (Kindle edition)

Barnes & Noble (paperback)

Barnes & Noble (NOOK edition)

ISBN-13: 978-0692236475

Release: June, 2014

Arizona Clay: A journey of self-discovery

Amazon.com (paperback)

Barnes & Noble (paperback)

ISBN-13: 9781606964880

Release: June, 2009

Follow me on Twitter:  @DebiOak

Happy birthday to those turning 15 from somebody turning 65...

(third from left) Carole Mason 1944-2005

I would have loved to pass on some of the funny and wonderful things and thoughts that my sister would probably say to you on your 15th birthday but these are times remembered and times forgotten for me. After thinking about it and praying about it for several days, my heart is telling me to follow my prime directive as a writer which is to write from my own experience and offer to few words of wisdom of my own.

Growing up in the early 1950s and 60s was a peculiar time of wonderment for myself and many a young girl. We were growing up in a time when the world was changing faster than our brains and inner spirits could keep up with. I was 15 years old in 1965 - wow!

In 1965 we were the first to rebel against what we called the establishment. We screamed and loudly protested against the real and percieved wrongs of American life to any and everyone that would listen. We were convinced of what is wrong in our society and were, of course, quick to remind our elders of how they had messed up our environment, the political system that we were beginning to understand could not be trusted, our home lives which was now labled with a new word - dysfunctional and there were far too many things that we were not being educated about. 

Not knowing how we  could change any of this we yelled louder, "hell no, we won't go!"  We became the hip generation; the flower children that set our own style in our music, the way we dressed, the way we created our art and the way we thought. We made some amazing discoveries about our bodies and ourselves, our belief systems and our culture.

By the time I was 15 my two sisters had already graduated to a different level of life's adventures. I was lonely and terribly misunderstood. I thought that mama didn't get it and I was pretty sure daddy didn't care. I was screaming for guidance and I longed for someone to talk to that "gets me".

I believe I am writing this today because I am getting ready to celebrate this marvelous age of 65 where I can say that I have finally reached the age of senior adulthood.  You see I have been feeling much the same way a pre-teen must feel before they cross over to teen-dom. You know, not a kid anymore but not really a full fledged teenager either.

With that said, this seems a good a time as any to reflect on my life thus far. I wonder how different my life may have been if I had parents that really understood the importance of talking to me and not at me? How different would the lives my siblings be if this had been so?

I'm pretty positive that my parents loved me but during that strange and peculiar time they were doing the best they could to clothe and feed us. Communication on the needs, desires and dreams of a silly teenage girl was real low on the priority list. 

Don't get me wrong, I don't have any regrets. I just so happen to be pretty happy about how my life turned out inspite of. I am just wondering that if things had been different, would I have learned the fine art of listening more intently? Perhaps I would have learned to express my true feelings more profoundly - if there is such a thing. Would my dreams and life expectations been more colorful and vivid - perhaps imaginative and I would have come to the the understanding sooner that my dreams are indeed possible and even achievable? 

Would I have come to trust God the way I do now if things had been different for me growing up? Probably not. I doubt seriously if would have come to love life and appreciate all the good and bad of it like I do this day.  Just how many things, that I cry over today, would be things that I take for granted had life dealt me a different hand? By-the-way, I do cry over the smallest and simplest things. Things like a baby laughing. When they are real little and they laugh I wonder if they learned how to do that in heaven. I cry over old movies, fields of flowers and majestic mountain ranges. You know, I have finally learned to settle my spirit and stop and smell the sweetpeas!

If I have any words of wisdom to pass on to you, my precious, it would be these:  Pay attention to life and always be present in mind, body and spirit. In other words, take care of yourself and love yourself . Appreciate the blessing of great parents that care and listen and are there to propel you forward toward the fullfilment of your dreams. Never, ever be afraid of making mistakes because it is through our mistakes that we reach our fullest potential. And, above all else, always keep a grateful heart - love God and trust God.

Remember to stop and smell the sweetpeas...

Happy Birthday, Miss Hannah!

 #soulwriter 

Books by Debi Mason:

What I Thought Was So Just Ain't - Aging through God's Grace

Amazon.com (paperback)

Amazon.com (Kindle edition)

Barnes & Noble (paperback)

Barnes & Noble (NOOK edition)

ISBN-13: 978-0692236475

Release: June, 2014

Arizona Clay: A journey of self-discovery

Amazon.com (paperback)

Barnes & Noble (paperback)

ISBN-13: 9781606964880

Release: June, 2009

Follow me on Twitter:  @DebiOak

The Light of Life, Pt. 1

"And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams."     

Acts 2:17 KJV

God said that in these last and evil days that He would pour out His spirit on all flesh. With this marvelous gift we are able to lay hands on the sick, including ourselves, and healing will, indeed, take place. We are healed because we believe and hunger for righteousness. God cannot lie and His power is within us. This power from on high is more powerful than any of the failings of this world.

It came to me that our bodies are temporary vessels that wear with age. We all know this to be true when out of the blue you need glasses to read with or taking a nap in the middle of the afternoon is time well spent. We get older and our bodies seem to need a lot more tender loving care than it used to.

These temporary vessels, however, house our eternal spirits - spirit man, if you will. As we pray we gain access to God's greatness, His power from on high that created all things in the heavens and on the earth. The power from on high that heals and restores each and every worn out cell. I read someplace that every cell in our bodies are replaced every eleven days. And the new cells have memory and they mimic the cells they are replacing including the sick cells.

If that be so then the miracle to me happens at the exact point of re-birth of the cell. God in His creativity changes the memory of the sick cell, cancels the over-all sickness and replaces it with good health and the light of life. Why? Because we love Him. We trust Him. We seek Him through His word of truth which says that we are healed by His stripes and in the name of Jesus.

My Lord, you are so utterly amazing!

#soulwriter 

Books by Debi Mason:

What I Thought Was So Just Ain't - Aging through God's Grace

Amazon.com (paperback)

Amazon.com (Kindle edition)

Barnes & Noble (paperback)

Barnes & Noble (NOOK edition)

ISBN-13: 978-0692236475

Release: June, 2014

Arizona Clay: A journey of self-discovery

Amazon.com (paperback)

Barnes & Noble (paperback)

ISBN-13: 9781606964880

Release: June, 2009

Follow me on Twitter:  @DebiOak

More than enough, too ...

“So they did eat, and were filled: and they took up of the broken meat that was left seven baskets.  And they that had eaten were about four thousand”.  Mark 8:8-9 KJV

More than enough, too…

There are times (like today and maybe even yesterday) that I am filled to the brim with wonder. I am not particularly worried about anything. Well maybe I am concerned about this thing they call aging which seems to be producing these body ailments and more and more grey hairs that also seem to be blooming on my cranium overnight.  Ok, I am wondering.

I mean it really is ok getting to be 65.  Really it is. I am just in a state of wonder. When did this happen? I look back at events in my life and they all seem like they took place just yesterday. Has it really been six years since I moved here to the bay? Has it really been six years since I last had a full-time job?  I mean after all that is a tremendous blessing and proof that God is a “keeping” kind of force in my life.

Remembering that day that I sat in this same place and declared that for God I will live and for God I will die. I resolved to live and walk by faith – trusting in His holy word that says the He would supply all of my needs. (It’s funny how God will bring you to a place of absolute dependence upon Him - I'm just sayin'). If I told you how much money I really live on every month you would probably say that’s impossible. But here I am and here it is. I have yet to be hungry. I am sheltered and safe and it is still all about Jesus. This, too, makes me wonder. He is more than enough.

The bible says in Psalm 37:5 “I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.”  Not that I am so righteous or even all that holy. But the Word of the Lord also says that if we would have the faith the size of a grain of a mustard seed what we see as impossible becomes possible.  That mountain with all of its clefts and jagged edges and slippery places becomes a small mole hill that is easily traversed because of God’s grace.  We don’t even have to have huge amounts of this thing called faith and God, with his ever abounding grace, comes through time after time after time. Isn't it a wonder?

Let’s not get it twisted. I don’t have a whole lot and if I allow what I do have to be measured against what  this world says is symbolic of success, the average Joe would say I have nothing. What you see as nothing is more than enough for me and that, my dear, fills me with wonder. 

As I meditate on the Word, I often look at the familiar stories and wonder why exactly are they written in the bible. What are we to really learn from that particular story?  There have been many interpretations of the Word of God, as we know. Some of these interpretations have totally missed the mark and have been slanted it to fit a person's particular earthly agenda. But when you really study the word and ask God to reveal the truth of why and how come that story is being told, the revelation is often amazing. God in His infinite love and wisdom reveals so much to us through these stories. God's Word does indeed breathe and it is alive. Though written numerous years ago it still reveals and instructs as though it were written just yesterday. Going back to the basics, I sometimes read the stories that we have heard time and time again and low and behold - fresh manna! Oh, how this fills me with wonder!

When is the last time you thought about the seven loaves of bread and a few fish that fed four thousand? Jesus had all of the people to sit down and wait for the miracle.  The bible didn’t say anything about the people complaining in the wait. Four thousand people sat down in the grass in groups and waited with great expectation to receive. And receive they did. Jesus blessed those few small fish and those seven loaves of bread and the increase came forth “pressed down, shaken together, running over.”  Everybody received more than enough. So it is with me and you and all of us. To this day I have no idea how it is that He is keeping me and to be honest I don’t need to know. He keeps me and this knowledge is more than enough, too.

#soulwriter 

Books by Debi Mason:

What I Thought Was So Just Ain't - Aging through God's Grace

Amazon.com (paperback)

Amazon.com (Kindle edition)

Barnes & Noble (paperback)

Barnes & Noble (NOOK edition)

ISBN-13: 978-0692236475

Release: June, 2014

Arizona Clay: A journey of self-discovery

Amazon.com (paperback)

Barnes & Noble (paperback)

ISBN-13: 9781606964880

Release: June, 2009

Follow me on Twitter:  @DebiOak